Penguins mate for life. So penguins aren’t like people, they’re better. Want to go to the aquarium?

I meant you want to be with someone who appreciates you for what you are. You know who loves all the odd little things about you and someone who gets you.

"Sometimes to be accepted, you need to stand out."

"Whoever said" Practice makes perfect "was an idiot. Humans cannot be perfect, because we are not machines. Unfortunately, the best thing you can say about practice is that it helps."

“Autism isn’t an accomplishment. It’s something I was born with. You wouldn’t write an essay about having ten fingers and ten toes, would you? No, because that would be really, really, really, really dumb. So I’ll stick with the boobs.”

“I hate touching the pens at the bank. That’s not really a question. That’s just something I thought you should know.” 

“Zahid is the most stylish person I know. Sometimes he wears two watches.”

. “I’m not ready to take the D-train to Bonetown.”

” I learned everything I know from the dark lord herself – mom.”

“Oh, you’re cool, bro. You’re as cool as a pickle in the freezer.”